Week 2: Discovering Your Core Values

(If you’re new here, this post is part of a 12-week series: The SONG Framework for Living Your Dreams. You can catch the introduction here.)

The Crane and the Peacock

Once upon a time, a Peacock was strutting proudly in the forest, showing off his dazzling feathers to anyone who cared to look. Nearby, a Crane was quietly searching for food. The Peacock, in his vanity, mocked the Crane:

“Look at me—how can you compare your dull, gray feathers to my brilliant colors?”

The Crane replied calmly, “True, your feathers are beautiful. But when night falls, they do you no good. I may not shine like you, but I can soar high into the skies and see the world in a way you never will.”

The moral? Outer beauty may draw attention, but true worth lies in what grounds you and what lifts you. In life, it’s our values—not appearances or circumstances—that give us the wings to rise above challenges.

What Makes Our Core Values Important?

Values are the standards or principles we hold as most important in life. They serve as a compass, pointing us toward what really matters and reminding us of who we are at our core.

If you don’t know what you stand for, the winds of life—family pressures, societal expectations, workplace demands—will blow you in any direction. But when you acknowledge your values, you create a firm foundation for how you live and lead.

I’ve seen this play out in my own career. Integrity is a core value for me, yet working in the construction industry in a developing country often presents situations that test it. Many people wonder why we sometimes end up with poorly executed infrastructure projects, and unfortunately, a lack of integrity often sits at the root of it. Personally, I’ve found myself in positions where I’ve had to return or reverse unsolicited money sent my way—subtle invitations to compromise. Each time, I’ve chosen to stand firm because I know where I stand.

That clarity is what makes values so powerful. They give you a filter. Knowing your values makes decision-making easier. You can cut through the noise that doesn’t align with who you are. And once you’re clear on your values, you’ll naturally attract your tribe—the people and experiences that share your heartbeat.

Guided Questions to Identify Your Core Values

What is truly important to me in life—beyond societal expectations or what others say I should value?
How do I want to be remembered? What qualities or impact do I want people to associate with me?
When do I feel the most alive, fulfilled, or satisfied? What values are present in those moments?
What difficult decisions have I made that revealed what I care most about?
What qualities in others do I admire deeply? Which qualities frustrate or upset me?
What am I passionate about? What activities or causes excite and energize me?
When have I felt a strong sense of integrity or authenticity? What values were being honored?
What values do I want to prioritize to guide my choices and behaviors daily?

Core Values Discovery Exercises

Exercise 1: Beginner’s Mind and Initial List Creation

Clear your mind and set aside preconceived ideas.
Write down any values, traits, or principles that come to mind.
Include anything that feels meaningful, authentic, or significant.
Don’t censor or judge during this initial brainstorming.
Use the guided questions above to dig deeper and expand your list.

Exercise 2: Group and Theme Values

Review your initial list.
Group similar values into clusters (e.g., honesty, integrity, authenticity).
Highlight the central theme behind each cluster.

Exercise 3: Prioritize and Narrow Down

From your grouped themes, identify your top 3–5 values.
Ask: Are these non-negotiable principles? Would I stand by them even under pressure?
Write personal statements for each value to solidify your understanding.

Exercise 4: Test and Reflect

Reflect on recent decisions and actions—do they align with your chosen values?
Consider hypothetical situations—would your values guide your behavior consistently?
Adjust value statements if needed for clarity and actionability.

Exercise 5: Life Reflection

Reflect on key life moments where you felt proud or fulfilled—what values were honored?
Think about moments of frustration or discomfort—what values were being violated?
Extract value words or phrases from these reflections.

Homework for This Week

Set aside 15 minutes with your journal. Write about a moment in your life when your values guided your decision—even if it was tough. What value was at stake? How did choosing to honor it shape the outcome, and how did you feel afterward?

This simple reflection will not only help you name your values but also remind you that you already have the strength to live by them.

Just as the Crane reminded the Peacock, your strength doesn’t come from outward appearances or fleeting circumstances, but from the values that shape your decisions. When you stand by your values—whether in personal life, career, or leadership—you discover not only who you are, but also the wings that allow you to rise higher and live with clarity and purpose.