Week 4: Naming Your Barriers — Identify Fears, Limiting Beliefs, and Patterns That Hold You Back

(If you’re new here, this post is part of a 12-week series: The SONG Framework for Living Your Dreams. You can catch the introduction here.)

We’ve now arrived at the O in the SONG Framework — O for Overcoming.

Over the next three weeks, we’ll explore what it really means to overcome the barriers that stand between you and the life you desire. Some of these barriers are real, others imagined — but either way, they hold power until we name them and begin to dismantle them.

This week, we start with just that: naming your barriers.

So, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
👉 What is standing between me and my dreams?
👉 What keeps me from taking that next step?

As I write this toward the end of the year, it feels like the perfect time for reflection. Look back at the goals you set for yourself this year.
Which ones did you achieve?
Which ones slipped away?
And why?
What are the big dreams still calling you — and what’s holding you back from answering them?

Let’s Go to BED — Blaming, Excuses, and Denial

These three are often at the very center of why we don’t take action.

Many of us carry stories about why we haven’t made progress — stories that involve our parents, teachers, bosses, or partners. And sometimes, those stories are true. Maybe life really did deal you a rough hand. Maybe you were wronged, overlooked, or underestimated.

But here’s the hard truth — and the liberating one:
You are now the captain of your own ship.

There’s very little you can do about what others have done. The only thing you have full authority over is yourself — your thoughts, your choices, and your next move.

Bad things happen to good people. But what happens next is up to you.
You have to release the story that keeps you stuck, forgive what can’t be changed, and start rewriting the next chapter with courage and ownership.

Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs shape how we see ourselves and the world — but they are not facts. You weren’t born with them; they were taught, absorbed, or modeled to you over time.

As an adult, you get to re-examine them.
You get to ask, “Does this belief still serve me?”

Whenever you catch yourself saying, “I should…” or “I must…”, pause and listen closely to what follows. Chances are, there’s a limiting belief hiding underneath.

I still laugh when I think about one of mine: growing up, I was told that if I wore a red coat in the rain, I’d be struck by lightning. Imagine!
That’s how ridiculous some of our adult beliefs sound when we finally bring them to the surface.

Identifying Patterns

Aside from single beliefs, there are often patterns — repeating behaviors that quietly sabotage us. Think through all the times you never started a project or stopped midway: are there commonalities? Do you procrastinate until conditions feel “perfect”? Do you abandon things when the first hurdle appears? Do you wait for external approval before moving?

These recurring themes are gold because they reveal the invisible operating system behind your decisions.

And these patterns don’t just show up in work or goals — they often spill into our relationships too. For instance, think about your dating life. You might find a familiar thread running through the partners you choose or notice that you tend to show up in a certain way with them — maybe overly accommodating, withdrawn, or always playing the rescuer.

Once you start noticing these patterns, don’t judge them. Observe, reflect, and get curious. They hold clues about your unspoken needs, fears, and beliefs. And the moment you recognize a pattern, you reclaim the power to change it.

Turning FEAR into FAITH

You’re probably familiar with the acronym F.E.A.R. — False Evidence Appearing Real.
During my coaching training, I learned another acronym that I absolutely love: F.A.I.T.H. — Finding Answers In The Heart.

Another major barrier we face is fear. It shows up in many ways, but the most common one I’ve noticed — both personally and in clients — is this: “What will people think of me if I take the leap and fail?”

Now, this whole series is about not taking your riches to the grave — the gifts, talents, and ideas you’ve been entrusted with. And I can assure you, if you let fear win, that’s exactly what will happen.

Fear is to be acknowledged and observed; it’s simply an emotion — a creation of your brain. It’s not necessarily true. It’s your brain’s protective mechanism kicking in because it can’t predict the outcome of what you’re about to do.

But here’s the beautiful part: once you take action and your brain starts collecting real data — like “Oh, this isn’t so bad,” or “Hey, we survived that hurdle!” — it begins to cancel the emotion of fear.

So yes, feel the fear, acknowledge it, but still go ahead and take action.
Because the life you desire is waiting on the other side.

This Week: Notice Without Judging

Naming your barriers is the first brave step toward dismantling them. When you bring your fears, excuses, and limiting beliefs into the light, they lose their power.

This week, take time to reflect and journal:

What patterns or excuses do I keep repeating?
What limiting beliefs am I ready to question?
What fears have been holding me back — and what might faith look like instead?
What story about my past am I finally ready to let go of?

Because once you name your barriers, you can begin to overcome them — and that’s where transformation begins.

Next week, we’ll explore tools to help us overcome the barriers we’ve identified.