(If you’re new here, this post is part of a 12-week series: The SONG Framework for Living Your Dreams. You can catch the introduction here.)
When you start a journey that’s genuinely transforming your life—whether it’s a new habit, a fitness routine, a personal development practice, or even a financial strategy—the natural instinct is to want everyone around you to hop on board too. You’ve seen results, you feel empowered, and suddenly you want to convert your partner, your siblings, your friends… everyone.
But here’s the truth:
Stop preaching to people who are not thirsty for the gospel.
It comes from a good place—I know that. But trying to recruit people into a journey they haven’t asked for often creates resistance, not inspiration. Even when you see your loved ones struggling with the same issues you once had, resist the urge to turn every conversation into a motivational speech or “you should try this” moment.
The most powerful influence isn’t persuasion.
It’s example.
Model the Success You’ve Experienced
For your close circle, the most effective way to inspire change is to live the change. Let them observe your consistency, the calm in your voice, your growing confidence, your healthier habits, your improved focus, your stronger boundaries.
People are naturally moved by their own internal question:
“If Lilian can do it, maybe I can too.”
And if they become curious—if they ask how you’re doing it—then that’s your invitation to share. That’s when your story becomes a bridge, not a sermon.
Their strategy may end up looking totally different from yours, and that’s the beauty of it. Everyone gets to craft a journey that works for them.
Find Your Tribe
This leads to something deeply important for your personal growth: finding a circle that shares your goals, values, or aspirations.
There is magic in rooms where people have aligned intentions. In these spaces, you don’t have to shrink your wins or hide your struggles. You can speak freely about your goals without worrying about being misunderstood, judged, or discouraged.
I experience this so clearly in one of the FI (Financial Independence) groups I’m in. Someone will hit a major milestone—like clearing a huge chunk of debt or hitting a savings target—and that group becomes the one place they can share openly. Outside that circle, people might respond with:
- “YOLO! Why are you denying yourself now for a future that isn’t guaranteed?”
- “You’re doing too much!”
- “Life is short, spend the money!”
And the same applies to health, fitness, career growth, side hustles—you name it. If you’re surrounded by the wrong voices, your growth can feel like an inconvenience to others instead of an inspiration.
Take Leadership Roles — Even Small Ones
Once you’ve found—or created—your tribe, the next step in expanding your impact is stepping into leadership.
This doesn’t have to be formal. It can look like:
- volunteering to organise a group event
- supporting new members
- hosting a small discussion
- helping coordinate initiatives
- sharing resources others may benefit from
This does three powerful things at once:
- You get a safe “practice ground” for leadership.
You gain confidence, sharpen communication skills, and learn to guide people—all in an environment that is low-pressure and aligned with your interests. - You get to give back.
Leadership is service, and contributing to a community that has poured into you is deeply fulfilling. - You gain built-in accountability.
When people look to you, even in small ways, it naturally encourages you to uphold the values you’re trying to live by.
How You Expand Your Impact—Naturally
The heart of this week’s reflection is simple:
Your impact grows not because you push harder, but because you live better.
Think about your journey:
- Where are you modelling success?
- Who is watching and learning from you without you even realising?
- Which circles do you need to join—or build—to nourish your growth?
- What small leadership role could stretch you to the next level?
Lilian Ngima 
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